Are You Calling Me Fat?

The social issue I’m addressing is size discrimination. Is size discrimination even a thing? I’m going to need you to pause, stop, and rethink that question. Of course it’s a thing! Why can I not wear certain clothes because of my size? When you hear my story you’ll get what I mean by size discrimination. I hope. When, I walk into a store with cute clothes like Hollister, Abercrombie, or even Macy’s the struggle begins. Why? Because clothes stop at certain size. When, I walk into the store and see cute pairs of jeans, I look for my size. Will I find it? HELL NO I won’t. The store will mostly have size 0, size 00, and even 000(don’t be shocked they exist). Where are the numbers???? Not that zero isn’t a number, but what are you doing that you waist is a size 000? That can’t be healthy can it? But back to the point; after shuffling under countless of size 0’s, I find actual numbers. Yeah numbers! But to my disappointment the sizes usually stop at 7’s and 9’s maybe 10’s if I’m lucky. And those are not my sizes. You’re probably thinking; just go to the big department. Listen here bub, it’s not that shopping in the big people’s section is bad or anything, but why are they separated? Why is the designing different and plain for bigger sized people? Why do some stores like Abercrombie & Fitch or Lululemon Athletica refuse to add plus sizes? It makes me, and I’m pretty sure other average/plus size girls, feel bad about our body shape. I used to hate my body type because I wasn’t skinny enough to fit in a certain brand of clothes. The models in the magazine and even mannequins give me that judgmental feeling, like why aren’t you a size 2 or 00? Did you know models that are sizes 6 and above are considered plus size models? What kind of tomfoolery is that? A size 6 should be a normal size (still skinny but normal skinny). Yet, to models that size is the start of the plus size category. Are you kidding me? Of course girls feel insecure and pressured. They feel pressured to lose weight to be pretty like the model, and wear pretty clothes like them, but you can’t and then you feel horrible. Why do you feel horrible? Because clothes cater to the skinny population, and if you fall under skinny you’re good to go. If you don’t, you have to go through the sizes. Then hope that those cute pair of jeans you saw comes in your size. My mom is plus size and she isn’t fat. My mom is curvy, and finding clothes isn’t easy.  Because of that she decided she wanted to lose weight. I believe my mom has a wonderful body type but she doesn’t think so, because the clothes she wears don’t make her feel that way. It’s like designers stop trying when they get to bigger sizes.  I mean it’s not like its designer’s jobs to make appealing clothes to everyone. It’s not like everything can be made in every size or anything, because that requires work (sarcasm). But really how would you feel if you saw a cute outfit, and it didn’t come in your size but it was in other sizes. You’d think damn….am I fat? 

Why Don't You Just Wear Curtains?

Why is it that if I walk into Abercrombie and Fitch I won’t find clothes? Why do I have to feel bad? It’s because I happen to not be the average skinny white girl form the block. And no I’m not bashing skinny white girls. So stop crying. There are skinny black and Hispanic people too, but when you think of skinny doesn't a cute white girl pop in your head. That’s what I thought. Because when you think of Abercrombie and Fitch I’m pretty sure you’re not thinking of a black or Hispanic girl. You are thinking of a white girl. You can think of boys too, size discrimination goes both ways but I’m focusing on the girl point of view (sorry boys).

Now after reading that paragraph your probably thinking well aren't you just fat? Lose weight. Well sir or madam I’d like to say I’m as healthy as an apple according to my doctor. But I guess if you compare me to an Abercrombie and Fitch or Forever 21 model I’m fat. Or if you compare me to that girl wearing a size three I’m fat. But do you accommodate my curves when you’re thinking I’m fat I’d say I’m disproportionate my thighs are huge but then my legs are…well they are another story. But what I mean to say is my butt and thighs in jeans are not taken to account. There are some women who are just very curvaceous, and even if they are fit clothes still come off as a problem. So it’s horrible to know that some brands make their clothes stop at a certain size. What is so hard about making clothes in all types of sizes?

So you’re most likely going to tell me but they make clothes for big girl too. I would like to clarify once again having curves does not make you big. Therefore you don’t belong in the big girls section and you don’t belong in the skinny girls section. What do you do? I don’t know wear a curtain. Of course you won’t do that, you’ll fine clothes of course, it just won’t be to your liking. It probably won’t be from that cute brand you like but they are clothes right?

Then we actually have the big girls who do need bigger sizes then the rest. Yes I understand they are big but do you have to make them feel ugly. Some of the clothes people make for big girls look like a seven year old designed it. Come on people you are not getting paid to make shitty clothing. A lot of big girls feel upset with the options they are given. Hell I’m upset for them. Some people will try to kill themselves to lose weight because of that. Some can’t. They just can’t shed the weight but they are trying. Why? So they too can wear those cute clothes that the other skinny girls wear. But they can’t wear those cute outfits because when you’re big being cute doesn't matter.

Doesn't it take about the same amount of energy to make smaller sizes and bigger sizes or is there some hidden technique I’m missing here? Yes making clothes isn't easy but if it’s your job, why don’t you I don’t know make them for everyone. I mean that’s just a thought but, hey don’t listen to the 16 year old girl who feels fat and annoyed, when I look at cute jeans then look at the size and just have to walk away. It’s not like that gives people low self-esteem or anything. No not at all. 

Size discrimination(paragraph reconstruction)

Have you ever wondered why it is that all we seem to have learned from you is how to corrupt our societies and how to be tyrants. You will have to accept that this mostly your fault. Let me just show you how you looked to us. You came. You took things that were not yours, and you did not even, for appearances’ sake ask first. You could have said, “May I have this please” and even thou it would have been clear to everybody that a yes or no from us would have been of no consequence you might have looked so much better. Believe me, it would have gone a long way. I would have had to admit that at least you were polite. You imprisoned people. You robbed people.  You opened your banks and you put our money in them. The accounts were in your name. There must have been some good people among you, but they stayed home. And that is the point. That is why they are good. They stayed home. But still, when you think about it, you must be a little sad. 

Have you ever gone to a clothing store and thought wow these clothes are really cute but then you look at the size and your face drops? If you haven’t that’s cool too but I have and I’ll tell you why my face drops and I get upset. The sizes. People are not always a size zero, some of us have curves, hard to believe but, it’s true. You are probably saying, “What is she talking about?” I’m talking about fashion having this bias view that skinny is the best body type so lets design our clothes for only a certain size and making other sizes irrelevant. Trust me, I’m not the only one with a problem with this. A lot of people are thicker than me they have more curves. We get angry. We get hurt. We get annoyed.  If I were a skinny white girl I wouldn't have this problem. I would be able to wear anything.  My butt wouldn't affect the length of my skirt. The models for the cute clothes are all skinny white girls, but no curvy women.

Things the make want to fight some people

  

Things/People around School

Stop walking like you don’t have class in 4 minutes.

·         When you bump into me don’t look at me like it’s my fault you bumped into me my dude!

·         Teachers all giving tests like I have all the time in the world to study and sleep isn’t necessary to function.

·         That cute way some of the Japanese taking kids feel they need to speak in. (if any of you are reading this you need to STOP. YOU are NOT an anime character!)

·         The Haitians in the hallway talking shit about people like I don’t understand you.

·         The fact the girls bathroom only has 2 working stalls.

·         The tiny CGS lockers but big McMahon lockers(are we not worthy enough for big lockers are we going to put our cat ears and tails in there).

My family

·         Why does my grandmother visit like every other week( you live in MARYLAND and you work why are you always in Ct).

·         Everyone who opens my door for the purpose of looking in to see what I’m doing(because I’m definitely murdering someone in my room).

·         Everyone who comes in my room leaves and doesn’t close the door ALL THE WAY!!

·         My mom constantly asking me what I’m doing or who I’m talking to knowing I’m going to say no one and nothing.

·         The fact that half my family is just hating on my grandfather.

The train

·         Conductor man/lady you see me every day of the school year why must you always ask for my ticket like you don’t know me!!!

·         The creepy guy on almost every train ride that walks back in forth (sit your ass down sir!!).

Racism

·         The line “I’m not really racist I have black friends too.”

·         When I walk by an old white lady and they lock their car door and pull up their windows(yes lady I’m definitely here to rob you).

·         Walking in a predominate white room and being followed around either physically or by vision.

·         When a white person gives you that nervous look when your around all black people.

·         The stereotype that black people are poor and use food stamps.

·         People saying that black people corrupted Miley.( NO NO Miley corrupted Miley)

·         Why are the books on black people always bad like they were raped or from the hood? Can I get a nice book of a black person raised in a middle class normal home!!

Media

·         Why are we making vampires and werewolves this big thing STOP IT!

·         Magazines with there you can’t be too skinny or too thick.

·         Kim Kardashians life(I don’t really care about it can we stop reporting everything).

·         Twerking, No Miley is not the queen of twerking(please go check out the real twerk team and come back to me)  In order to twerk one must have a butt (again Miley is not the queen of twerk).

·         Children who haven’t been born from the 90’s shouldn’t have access to the internet until their 15.

     The World

·         Why does America always have to do something first when things get rough (what about everyone else? does America rule the world is that it?).

·         So America can go just about everywhere but we can’t help Africa out.

The Dislike for A Name

The name: Stephanie Alexandre. Let’s start with the first name, shall we? It is said “Stephanie” in Greek means crowned and in French, it means crowned in victory. However, as I was searching my name up in urban dictionary, I was able to find descriptions on myself: “Stephanie’s are very sexy and sophisticated women. Stephanie’s know what they want and can get it; can also mean a sophisticated bitch.” “Stephanie is very nice and caring towards everyone and she always has a smile on her face no matter what and she doesn’t know it, but she is very beautiful and smart.” I’d like to say I’m both. If you agree or disagree, I personally don’t care. That is the meaning of my name, according to the internet. Now, you would think, “Wow, that’s a nice name, right?” No, my name for me is just my title.

I was named after my grandmother—well, not exactly: my grandmother’s name is Symphonie. She is my mother’s best friend, literally. So of course, she would want to name her child after her—or close to the name—and what name is close to Symphonie? If you guessed Stephanie, go get yourself a cookie because you’re right. I should be honored to be named after my grandmother, the woman who was my mother before my mother; the one who raised me in Haiti when I was nine months to five years old, and when things got tough, raised me in Maryland, but the thing is: I’m not honored at all. I like to say that I was a squirrel in a past life, and my belief is that my grandmother ran me over. Meaning: I don’t get along with my grandma. I mean I love her…. really I do! But my grandma still manages to irk my soul whenever she is around. We can get along, but sometimes, I just can’t deal with her.

That is one reason why I dislike my first name. The second is because when you think of the name Stephanie, doesn’t a nice white girl pop up in your mind? Not a turnt up, sassy Haitian girl. Let me tell you the amount of times people have questioned my ethnicity based on my name and skin is stupefying and the amount of times someone has asked me if I’m part white or adopted is so ridiculous that I’ve lost count. I’d like to say it got better when I tanned, but I still get a couple of people who ask me that question, and I have to hold back my sigh and tell them no. Then I sit back and look at their disappointment. I don’t know if it’s because I’m not white, or the fact that they were wrong is the reason why they were disappointed though.

The last reason I don’t like my name is because no one can ever pronounce my last name correctly! My last name is Alexandre but everyone becomes dyslexic at the “re,” and they flip it: then I’m Alexander. My last name is French but in English, yes it would be Alexander. I didn’t know this until the third grade. As a young child, my teacher taught me how to spell my name Alexander, not Alexandre. So, up until my father told me, “NO, that’s not how you say it. CORRECT PEOPLE!” I was spelling my own name wrong. Can you believe that even though it was only two letters, my name was being spelled—and said— wrong? But, if I was given the option of changing my name, I wouldn’t.